The struggle of living my life worthy of the call that God has placed on it, is wrought with warfare and difficulty. I want so much, to lead my family, my friends and my church, by setting a good example as a penitent and thankful man of God. But, there are those days; you know, the ones where every moment you are on the brink of a loss of control. The days that seemed to be filled with small battles of will, and the longing for the determination to overcome that evil with the good of the Lord’s Greatness. Sometimes, we feel like we, with the Lord’s power and strength, win that day with God’s wisdom and truth. This post is not about those days. It is about the days when your flesh, just for a brief moment, took over and you tried to do it all yourself. “Boy, am I going to show the world, God, and everyone else out there that I can do it! I am a strong person, a overcomer, a warrior, a true believer, and so on, and so on.” Does this heart attitude sound familiar? This day, you fall down; face down in the muck of your insufficiency; in the hard work that you can never complete.
This is the kind of day I wrote this post about. A day of disappointment in yourself; when you let the enemy win by allowing your flesh to try to take the glory, if just for a moment. This battle-plan has never, and will never work for me or anyone else. I know my sufficiency is nothing; and God’s is everything; I mean, I really know that in my soul, but I just took the reins of my life for a second. Boy, do I get mad at myself when I do this. It’s that I just feel that I am too mature, too rooted in God’s Word, and his plan for my life to be allured in this way; and that gets me upset at myself and my attempt at control.
This poem and commentary is for the believers who are downtrodden and disappointed in themselves; especially when you feel like you missed the mark of a target so large. It is to remind us that God’s strength is everything and to put our trust, our unwavering trust, in Christ; not to take it out of His capable hands by trying to “show” him we can do it, because we can’t. God is just reminding me, and all of us believers, that He knows we can’t do it and still loves us faithfully and true. That’s why He sent His Son to die for our sins, our iniquities and our inadequacies as well.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6 reminds us all not to do things in our own power. So, take that and be delivered from it. The verse that I really want to give to you, the one that has given me so much strength and clarity, and I believe it will do the same for you is: Psalm 31:7-8. This verse I have taken refuge and comfort in when I want to cry out to my Father because I have felt the sting of not measuring up. It reads: “I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my
affliction; you have known the distress of my soul, and you have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy; you have set my feet
in a broad place.(ESV)”
Oh, I have taken great relief in this verse, in the fact that I don’t have to do it on my own; and that because of my close relationship to my Father in heaven, He takes great care in the events of my life. He is saying to me that He knows that I am weak, but, HE IS STRONG, and He still loves me all the same. God, oh my Precious Jesus, you are the Rock that my heart has always yearned and hoped for. You give me the strength to live, and the forgiveness and grace to comfort me when I fall short.
Please take the time to read this poem and reflect on your efforts to keep the straight path; that is this walk with Christ.
The Great Plains Poet, a failure in my own strength, but a overcomer in the sufficiency of Christ.
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Kissing Me Gently Upon My Crestfallen Head
by Chris T.
Troubled by the complexity of my war-like life,
I knelt, I offered up supplication,
With sweat, tears, and the furrowing of my brow.
Shaken and forced back, I gave a strong cry-out.
My circumstances had just overtaken my sight,
Maybe for just a moment, like a brief detour.
Pouring out of myself, I did present an offering,
And an opportunity for grace to abound,
Which will show His mercy and deliverance.
That day I tried with all my might,
To not look directly at the sight of it,
But to firmly be rooted in the grounding of my faith,
Not in me, but in the One who protects and provides.
But today, I met a foe who backed down my resolve,
Who pulled too hard on my rope; and on my grip.
I admit my feet were moved, just a little,
For that fact gave me a weary thought of defeat,
A moment of disappointment; in myself, and in my determination.
So I called upon my Father; the strongest friend I know,
To be the buffer of this constant foe; the lion who roars,
Deep and loud; devouring preoccupied people,
Who listen not to the Maker’s still small voice.
I talked to my Father; with intensity and need,
Not with the language of memorized ceremony,
But with words of thanksgiving and the willingness of speech,
And with the familiarity of a friend closer than a brother.
This supplication came directly from my soul,
For the day had ravaged and taken its toll.
Speaking to the Commander In Chief of my heart,
Gave me the strength to plant my stance; giving unto me a fresh start.
When I cry out with a voice so loud
My Father responds with help beyond the cloud
Engulfing my soul and keeping me from dread,
And kissing me gently upon my crest-fallen head.