What Is My Life Worth?

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I began tapping my foot to the tune of “Jesus Made A Way”. Such and old habit this was, as the silent metronome began to click off in my head while whistling this lively tune by The Mighty Clouds Of Joy.

What is a man worth? This was an old thought that has run through my mind from time to time. Particularly, what am I worth? Usually when this contemplation begins to occur in my broken head, it is an attack from the enemy; a lie spoken in such a way, at the most opportune time. You see, when you are as afflicted as I am, the devil begins to say things to you like: “You are worth more dead than you are alive.” Now, don’t be worried, this NEVER works on me. Why, you say? Well, when you are as afflicted as I am there are two paths: Destruction or Deliverance. I choose to be delivered! So, I ask again, what am I worth? How about everything?

God says that I am worth the death of His Son Jesus. That I might become reconciled with the Father paying my debt of sin forever. I have been bought with an ultimate price that was lovingly paid.

Most lies from the enemy have a small element of truth to them, or, you would never entertain that whisper for even a moment. Right now, if I go to the basement of my home and rummage through some old boxes, drawers, and hidden compartments, I might happen upon two copper coins. That isn’t worth very much today. On the other hand, when God opens the box of my heart, He finds the most valuable treasure in the universe as he stares His Son Jesus in the face. Therefore, that heart is worth everything to Almighty God.

God takes the poor in spirit and makes them rich beyond abundance, joyful farther than the eye can gather into view, and more connected than the strongest glue man can invent; all because God’s one and only Son paid the cost. Jesus made a way.

If you find yourself downtrodden and you don’t like the reflection that the mirror’s gaze casts back, remember that you ARE loved; and loved by God. If you didn’t have worth, God wouldn’t have loved you so much to send His Son to pay the debt of sin with the blood of Jesus.

Let me tell you something embarrassing about myself. After my accident, I spent 3 months vomiting several times a day. The effects of that experience eroded the enamel on my teeth and fractured and decayed them. It would take roughly about 8 to 10 thousand dollars to repair that damage. Obviously, that is not an option for me. Therefore, I don’t smile in front of people very often. I am ashamed to say that my pride prevents me from laughing with mouth agape, or giving that Hollywood wide smile in pictures. To drive the point home even further, when I brush my teeth I make an almost hermetically seal around that spinbrush as not to catch a glimpse in the looking-glass of the damage done, and what has been taken from me.

That’s when the devil comes at me. Not, when I am singing “There’s power in the blood” at church, but when I am solemn; reflecting about the events that led me to where I am at now.

If I were to let it, that could crush my spirit; making me count the cost of my life, rendering me completely ineffective perceiving no worth in me.

Now, when the mirror casts unkind reflection, I think of how God sees me. I think about that glorified body I will receive when the Lord comes back to get me and dig my heals in the dirt harder and take a firm stance in that I am so very beautiful to my God. For, when he sees me now, broken in body as I am, He’s looking at his Son and that must be the most beautiful sight in the universe to him.

This moment, if you struggle with self-worth, pick up you chin and look to the sky from where your help comes from(Psalm 121:1-2) and remember how valuable you are to the Creator of the world. You are an heir with Christ and this Father sticks around and takes care of his kids(Rom 8:17). I would never have made it these last two years through searing pain, losses of functionalities that many of us take for granted, seeing the tears of my wife and son as they are forced to watch me in so much pain without the awesome strength of knowing a Savior so filled with love, and who I am to Him: lovely, beautiful, perfect, faithful, obedient, and purposeful for the kingdom. So, every once in a while when one of the children in my church touches my heart with their zeal for him, I gentle open my broken mouth and let it open up into a tiny smile.

If you don’t know that love; the love of a Savior who paid so much to keep you out of hell and give unto you an abundant life, please make a commitment to follow Him today. Click on the tab on this site called “How to know God” and say the pray and read the verses in there and you will be changed. Your heart will open up to a love so whole and complete you will wonder why it took you so long to receive a love so fulfilling and true.

The Great Plains Poet

4 thoughts on “What Is My Life Worth?

  1. I never stopped reading your posts. They are full of faith and of the holy spirit. You are a warrior of God! A soldier in the army of the Lord. Quit and give up are not in your vocabulary. Praise be to God, love, Katia.

    1. Katia, I am so glad you responded to me. I have been very worried about you because I haven’t heard from you in several months. I have been praying for you that you are safe, protected, being fed the word of God, and in a better place in your life. So, your responding is an answer to prayer. Thank you for those kind words above. You know what is really happening: the enemy is trying to get me to curse the Lord and give up on Him. That will NEVER happen. Once a person has tasted and seen all the Lord has done, that person thirsts for his Savior even more. You actually caught me a very interesting and difficult time. I am about an hour from going to the doctor about another fairly serious problem that has developed. And, admittedly it felt like too much and tears were definitely shed. BUT, I was driven INTO the arms of my Jesus, not driven away. My entire story is far too long to tell here but rest assured, as you have stated above, I will never quit being a wonderful husband, and engaging father, a faithful friend with a patient ear, and a true worshipper of the Most High God. Today, my joy is complete just because the Lord allowed me to hear from you after such a long time. May God richly bless you Katia!!

  2. Wow, I can feel your heartbeat coming through my computer. You speak so many truths in this wonderful message of hope and deliverance. I too have looked at myself in the mirror and wince at the person staring back at me. “Who is that” I ask. Satan says “It is the begging of old age and uselessness. You are no longer able to do the Lord’s work. Your pain keeps you from being effective. You have nothing more to offer” God says ” I see the wisdom you’ve gained over the years. Through the pain I will continue to use you to bring Me glory and to share the light of the Gospel of salvation. ” I hear both voices and as I walk away . . . I go to my office and open up the Bible and a new poem is born! ~ God Bless you my friend and Merry CHRISTmas ~

    1. Your response to this post is the very reason why this blog exists. I make myself embarrassingly transparent so others would see Christ through me and my struggle and hopefully draw even closer to the Lord. Thank you for this comment. You have no idea how difficult the last 3 days have been for me. So, for that encouragement, I can’t thank you enough. May the Lord keep you and bless you. Amen.

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